Florida Man

​ In 2013, a Twitter post about the peculiar behavior of a man in Florida went viral, and soon after “Florida Man” became established as a meme. Florida Man now means the strange and peculiar behaviors of people in Florida. Florida is the third most populous state in the US, with 22 million people, just behind California and Texas. Here are some examples.

A man was looking for scrap. This is a fairly common thing in Florida, people needing some money prowl other peoples’ trash looking for metal they can sell to a scrap yard. In this case,the man somehow managed to steal a steel utility pole, probablytwenty-five feet long. He tied it to the roof of his car but forgot that it’s hard to make turns with a 25-foot utility pole tied to the top of your car. It’s also easy for the cops to identify, and they did.

​ Another man saw that police were coming after him, so he tried to escape on a riding mower. For non-Americans, a riding mower is something like a golf cart, only with blades underneath for cutting lawns. They might do five miles an hour at top speed. In another case, a fellow who was thirsty drove his riding mower down the interstate, looking for a bar.

​ Florida Man is a special kind of criminal—dumb. In one case, a man robbed a bank, then called a cab to come pick him up. In another, a man was speeding away from police cruisers chasing him and came to a place where drivers have to pay toll. So, he stops and pays the toll. And got caught. In another, a man was trying to rob a store, walking to the doors with a gun in hand, but it was after hours, and the store was closed. So he goes back to his car, puts on a Spider Man mask and goes back to the doors, forcing them open. The surveillance video was excellent quality and the mask helped hide his face—after several minutes of him without the mask on.

​ Drugs are strictly regulated in Florida. There’s one case where a man called the cops to report that someone had stolen his stash of weed. Another had just bought some crystal meth and wanted police to test its purity before he used it.

​One of the more interesting cases recently was a Florida man arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. He was at a fast-food place drive in window, got angry with the service and threw an alligator at the salesclerk. It would have had to be a small gator, because big ones can be 12 feel and 1,000 pounds.

Perhaps it’s the climate, but some Florida men like to walk in the nude. One was arrested for finding a police van, climbing to its top and dancing nude. He said he was warding off vampires. Another fellow wore a mop on his head and walked through his neighborhood in the nude, knocking on peoples’ doors and demanding they give him eggs.

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